Before It Stains Read online

  “We can handle it, honey. He’s only been pitching since he was eight. I think we have the routine down.”

  “Well, routines get old and people’s minds wander.” Mo said.

  Kissing Mo on the way out of the bathroom, Stephanie stopped to take her robe from the back of the bedroom door and called over her shoulder, “Yes, but you’re married to the queen of routines. If I didn’t plan out our lives to the second, we’d be going around in circles and never see each other.”

  Stephanie thought she heard Mo mumble something. She stopped at the doorway and asked, “What, honey?”

  The water turned on in the shower and Stephanie knew Mo had not heard her. She trotted down the stairs, each step sending a sharp pain through her head, but she figured she’d rush and get it over with. Rehydration was the remedy Stephanie chose for the champagne fog that enveloped her brain. Opening the refrigerator, she grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it down before approaching the coffee grinder.

  Stephanie planned to cook them breakfast and serve it in bed, with the knowledge their son would be gone until four or five this evening. Scratch one romantic morning. Stephanie wanted to spend time with Mo before her trip tomorrow. She intended on snuggling in bed all day, followed by family dinner in the evening.

  “Best laid plans,” she said, pouring the coffee beans in the grinder.

  #

  Stephanie kissed Mo at the front door. “Just promise me you’ll be home by six, so we can eat dinner as a family.”

  “I have to go over the distribution package with Michaela before tomorrow, but I hope I’m back a lot sooner than that.”

  “Lately, you haven’t been too good at keeping dates. This is important, Mo. We won’t be together again until next Sunday.”

  Mo looked hurt. “I’ll be here. I promise.”

  “I’m not complaining, Mo, but I’m not a fifteen-year-old who misses his MoMo.” Stephanie smiled to soften the blow of truth.

  “I know, I know,” Mo said, adding, “I’ll spend some time with him tonight.”

  Stephanie kissed Mo again. “I love you. Hurry home.”

  The rest of the morning was spent doing laundry and getting Mo’s clothes ready for her trip. Stephanie didn’t pack the bag, but she made sure the things Mo would need were cleaned and pressed. She never minded taking care of Colt and Mo. Stephanie only hoped she could live up to the happy homemaker her mother was. What some women looked at as chores and drudgery, she saw as acts of love and commitment. Mo and Colt did their fair share of the work around the house, but Stephanie was the glue that held it all together.

  It was Sunday, so Stephanie’s office was closed. A service would dispense any emergencies to proper contacts. They would call her only if it were catastrophic. Stephanie started working at the property management office when she was in college. She remained with the company, even after she graduated with an MBA. She moved up through the ranks, eventually becoming the managing partner of the largest property management business in the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area of North Carolina known as Research Triangle Park, or simply the Triangle. Stephanie supported her family until Mo finished her doctorate, and even now she made more than the tenured professor. It afforded them the nice two-story house in the family neighborhood of doctors, lawyers, and faculty from the University.

  Stephanie’s cellphone rang about one o’clock.

  “Hi, Mom. How was the party?”

  “It was great,” Stephanie said, grinning with the memories of the after-party in the bedroom. “How was your first formal dance?”

  “It was all right, just a dance with fancy clothes. Hey, can I stay the night with Trevor, again?”

  “No, honey. This is the last night Mo will be here for a week. We need to have family dinner.”

  Undeterred, Colt asked, “Can I come back after we eat?”

  “I think Mo wants to spend some time with you. She mentioned it before she left.”

  “Where did she go? I thought she was supposed to be at home, for once.” Mo’s frequent absences were beginning to affect Colt’s usually sunny disposition.

  “She got a call this morning to meet with a producer. Her schedule is rather crazy these days. People are pulling her in all directions, including us. That’s another reason you should spend time with her while she’s here.”

  Colt wasn’t buying it. “What makes you so sure she’ll even be home for dinner?”

  “She promised.”

  “Yeah, right,” Colt spat out.

  Stephanie wasn’t up for Colt’s surly mood. “She’ll be here and so will you. I expect you by 4:30 at the latest. Got it?”

  “Yeah, I got it. See you at 4:30.”

  He hung up. Stephanie stared at the phone. No, “Goodbye.” Colt was growing up, but that didn’t mean he could be rude. She was going to talk to him soon about his boundary pushing. It had to be done. She and Mo should have done it together, but waiting until they were all in the same room had been a failed strategy. Tonight wasn’t the time to have the discussion. They needed some fun family time, not a lecture.

  The cellphone rang in her hand. A picture of Stephanie’s mother flashed on the screen.

  “Hi, Mom. How was church?”

  “Hey, sweetie. Church was wonderful. They left the flowers up from Gwen Barrett’s wedding, yesterday. I wish you could have seen them.”

  “I can’t believe someone I graduated from high school with has a daughter that’s married. Makes me feel old.”

  “Forty is not old and she had that baby six months after you graduated. I think it’s a case of like mother like daughter.”

  Stephanie laughed. “It won’t be too much longer before Colt is grown and married.”

  “I think we have a few more years, as long as he keeps his pecker in his pants.”

  Debra Austin was known for speaking her mind, at least to those she loved. The picture of southern grace and hospitality in public, she would often drop the façade behind closed doors. Stephanie loved that about her mother.

  “He’s growing up so fast. He’s starting to pull away from us. I’m not prepared for all this angst,” Stephanie said.

  “Oh, what a surprise. My grandson is a typical teenager,” her mother said, laughing.

  “I always thought he’d be my baby forever. I guess I was wrong.”

  Debra’s voice turned serious. “Steph, he’ll always be your baby, but you’re going to have to let him push and pull against you. It’s the nature of the beast.”

  “With Mo gone all the time, he’s struggling. I can’t figure out if he’s mad because he misses her, or if it’s because he doesn’t want to admit he does.”

  “He’s fifteen. His reasons change with the wind. How are you doing? I know Mo’s going to be gone a lot. Are you okay with that?”

  “I have to be, Mom. This is everything she ever wanted. I can’t let how I feel about her being away show. I don’t want her worried about us. She needs to enjoy this. We’ll be here when the fervor dies down.”

  “I saw her on the news last night. Some black haired girl draped all over her. Where were you?”

  “I was there, but I wasn’t with Mo all night. She didn’t mention she was going to be on the news.”

  “Maybe she didn’t know. It was a story about the festival. I saw Mo in the background, behind the reporter. Who was that woman pawing at her?”

  “If I had to guess, I say it was her agent, Michaela.”

  “Well, I’m not going to get in your business, but if one of your father’s associates hung around his neck like that, I would have nipped that in the bud. Get my drift.”

  Stephanie chuckled. “Yes, I get your drift. It’s harmless, Mom. Mo knows where home is.”

  “Okay, but mark my words, that little thing on her arm is going to be a problem. You nip it now, before it grows.”

  “Thank you, mother, but I think I can handle another young thing infatuated with Mo. It happens every semester.”

  “That’s not
a little girl you’re dealing with. I’ve never met her, but I could tell she’s a home-wrecker. It was written all over her face. After watching women throw themselves at your father for years, I can spot ’em.”

  “Yes, and where is Dad? He’s right there with you, well, he’s on his fishing trip, but you’ve been married, what, forty-four years. He never strayed and Mo won’t either.”

  The silence from her mother spoke volumes.

  “He never cheated on you, right Mom?”

  “Honey, I’ve got to get my casserole out of the oven. We’ll talk later. I love you.”

  And with that, the phone went dead. Stephanie was stunned. It was obvious she didn’t know everything about her parents’ relationship. She thought not knowing was the way she’d like to keep it. Just as she never wanted to imagine her parents in bed, she wanted to keep their long, happy marriage on the pedestal where it belonged, a shining beacon to her that love could last forever.

  Stephanie shook off the doubts and went to the back deck to start the gas grill. She was going to slow cook a prime rib, Mo’s favorite. Standing on the deck, Stephanie looked out at the backyard. The table and chairs, where they spent many evenings, had not been used since May. Summer had always been Stephanie’s favorite time of year. Mo was home most of the time and they had dinners and parties, but not this year. Mo had been traveling the country from one film festival to another, promoting the movie.

  Soon, Stephanie thought, soon Mo would be done with this project. The next one meant Mo would be gone for weeks at a time, but she promised to come home when she could. They couldn’t uproot Colt for four months, so Stephanie would stay with him while Mo shot a pilot in the LA studio. If things worked out, maybe they would move to California, but until then, Stephanie had job security, and Colt needed structure. They made the decision as a family. With her mother’s words echoing in her ear, Stephanie hoped it had not been the wrong one.

  #

  Stephanie finished the preparations for dinner around four o’clock. She had the rib timed to be ready at five-thirty. She sent Mo a text message, since she had not heard from her, reminding her of dinnertime. She checked the thermostat on the grill once again, and then went upstairs to take a shower. Earlier in the morning, Stephanie picked up the clothes strewn over the floor by the front door. They were now piled on the bed. Her dress would need to go to the cleaners. She picked up Mo’s shirt and saw a lipstick stain on the collar. It would have to go to the cleaners, as well.

  She checked the pockets, before tossing Mo’s pants in the hamper. In the right-hand pocket, Stephanie found a balled up napkin. She started to throw it in the wastebasket, but something caught her eye. She carefully peeled the ball open, revealing what was written in the wrinkles. Her heart stopped. In an instant, her knees buckled and Stephanie hit the floor.

  She heard the front door come open downstairs. Heavy footfalls made their way up the stairs, stopping outside her bedroom door.

  A soft knocking preceded Colt calling out, “Hey, Mom, are you in there?”

  Stephanie couldn’t answer. She had no breath. She was frozen in place by the napkin in her hand.

  He knocked again, louder. “Mom?”

  Stephanie had to pull it together. He couldn’t know. She couldn’t tell him life, as they knew it, had just come to a screeching halt. She fought back the tears and answered him.

  “Don’t come in, honey. I’m going to take a shower. Get cleaned up for dinner. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  “Are you okay?” Colt asked, concern in his voice.

  Stephanie called through the door. “I’m just tired.” She had to distract him. “Hey, watch the thermometer on the grill. Make sure it doesn’t get over a hundred and thirty degrees.”

  “Sure, okay.”

  She heard Colt bound down the stairs. Stephanie looked at the note again, making sure she wasn’t jumping to conclusions. She read it once more and knew there was no doubt what it meant. The bright red kissing lip impression was an easily recognizable color. Michaela had put them there along with the big sweeping “M” in bright blue ink, if there was any doubt. Stephanie’s heart was breaking, but she couldn’t fall apart now. Colt was downstairs and he didn’t deserve to find out this way. Stephanie didn’t deserve to find out this way either, but she had. Now, she pulled herself up from the floor and moved zombie-like toward the bathroom.

  Stephanie slumped on the shower floor, sobbing uncontrollably. She lost track of time, unable to quell the rising pain that seized her chest. The shower turned cold, as her tears mingled with the water. It swirled around the drain and Stephanie watched seventeen years flow swiftly away. After a few more minutes, the pain ebbed and anger rushed forward to take its place.

  “Goddamn her,” she gasped. “Goddamn her.”

  #

  Stephanie wasn’t naïve. She simply chose to believe in happily ever after. Through all that she and Mo had experienced, the good and the bad, the one thing she held onto was Mo would always be with her. That was no longer true. The woman who stepped out of the bedroom and made her way down the stairs was no longer “the glass is half full” girl Stephanie had been. Mo killed that girl, the one who imagined life would always be good.

  Stephanie had no idea where life would take her now. The path had been clearly laid out and Stephanie happily followed along, as her dreams came true, one by one. The storybook romance Stephanie lived did not prepare her for an unhappy ending. The hopes of one day rocking on the porch with Mo, playing with their grandchildren, living to be old and gray together had been destroyed. Up to this moment, her world was just as she planned it. She considered herself blessed to have had this life. What was she going to do now?

  Stephanie’s only focus was holding it together long enough to keep Colt from knowing what was happening. She found him on the back deck, dutifully watching the grill. He smiled and his dimples showed. He sensed something was wrong and came to give her a hug.

  “I know you’re sad because Mo’s going away for a week. You never like it when she’s gone.”

  Stephanie clung to him. “Yeah, that’s it,” she whispered against his chest.

  “I’ll keep you company, Mom. I’m sorry I was a jerk on the phone. I should have known you needed me to come home.”

  She looked up at her big handsome boy and said, “You’re fifteen. You’re supposed to want to be away from home. Call Trevor and let me talk to his mom. You can spend the night if you want.”

  “I thought you wanted me to spend time with Mo.”

  “I did, but I need to talk to her about this trip and I’m not going to make you sit through a boring evening with us, when you could be with your friends. School will be starting soon. You go on and have a good time. She’ll be back next week and you can talk to her then.”

  Colt brightened. “I’ll call him now.”

  He dialed the number on his cell and soon Stephanie was attempting to sound normal while making arrangements with Trevor’s mom. She would be by to pick Colt up in a bit and take the boys to the movies, which was code for dropping them at the mall, so they could swagger around with all the other teenagers without a license. It was the equivalent of cruising from Stephanie’s high school days. While Colt packed a bag, Stephanie pulled the rib off the grill and prepared a plate for him. She sat and watched him eat, keeping her feelings at bay for the duration. When Trevor’s mom blew the horn outside, Stephanie put some money in his hand and kissed him on the cheek.

  He hesitated at the door. “Mom, are you okay? I could stay home, if you want.”

  “No, honey. Go. Have a good time. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Colt hugged her tightly and then left. Stephanie waved to Trevor’s mom from the porch and went back in the house. She had not heard from Mo since this morning. Stephanie hoped she’d stay gone long enough to do what needed to be done. She climbed the stairs, heavy with the burden of knowing what was about to happen.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Stephanie finished he
r tasks and waited in the bedroom. She left the bedroom door open so she could hear Mo when she came in. She didn’t have to wait long. At six o’clock, the front door opened and closed. A few seconds passed, then she heard Mo’s voice.

  “What the fuck,” was followed quickly by, “Oh, my God!”

  Stephanie heard Mo run up the stairs, before she appeared in the doorway, the wadded up napkin in her hand. She looked scared and confused, but it didn’t matter to Stephanie. She had packed Mo’s suitcases and left them by the door, with a note and the napkin. The note was a simple and straightforward message. It said, “You don’t live here anymore.”

  Mo struggled for words. Stephanie waited, seated on the bed. She wasn’t crying. She was resolute in her decision.

  She saved Mo from her loss of words, by saying, “I’ll send the rest of your stuff to LA next week. I assume that’s where you’ll be living.”

  Mo regained the ability to speak. “It’s not what you think, Steph.”

  “Oh, I think, ‘I can’t wait to get you alone again,’ pretty much says it all.”

  Mo didn’t respond.

  “What I want to know is did you think about me and Colt, before you slept with her?”

  Mo slid down the doorway and started to weep. Stephanie just stared, unmoved by Mo’s tears.

  “Was it worth it, Mo? Was it everything you wanted? You threw us away and for what, a piece of ass, your career? I hope you know I’m not going to be the one who tells our son what you’ve done. You’re not getting off that easy.”

  Stephanie stood up and walked across the room. She stepped over Mo and said, “I sent him to Trevor’s, so you have a week to figure out what to say to him.”

  Mo grabbed Stephanie’s leg, stopping her from leaving. “Don’t do this.”

  Stephanie jerked away. “Don’t do what, throw you out on your ass? I didn’t cause this. You did. I loved you more than life itself, but that wasn’t enough for you. So, go to her. You’re done here.”